No 'Concepcion' Climbing: How not to climb a Volcano (or anything!)

by Allen Rouse

I grew up within sight of Concepcion and Madera and the Santa Rosa Peninsula which is part of Costa Rica. In '92 I made not-so-well-thought-out attempt to climb Concepcion. I had 'prepared' by photocopying a USGS-style map of the island that I obtained from the Benson Latin American Library of the U. of Texas. The map was made in the sixties. It had the 'Alliance for Progress' logo on it and was quite detailed (and 20+ years out of date). It was a 'quad' (??) map. Each 1"x1" square of the grid corresponded to one square kilometer.

A friend and I started at 5am, by ourselves. We planned to climb to the caldera, take pictures, and come back for a very late lunch.

The climb was unexpectedly difficult. I thought that climbing one little mile up would be easy. An additional hindrance was the cloud cover which was closer to being fog. Our glasses collected the water droplets and became useless. But we persevered in spite of being 3/4 up the volcano instead of the caldera as our schedule had it. And, being blind as two nearsighted geeks who did not bring enough water, we started to lick the dew off of the rocks. We rationalized that there were no sources of infection *up* the volcano that would pollute the water coming *down*.

Dirt eventually gave way to very hard, solid rock which I assume was old lava. Pitted and uneven, but it collected dew quite well. We had started to see that the mountain had started to visibly curve along the horizontal (left-right) even given our limited range of sight. We decided that, since at this point the way was so steep that we had to use our hands to assist us, to circle around to find the fabled easy way. What we found was a sudden drop off the bottom of which was lost in fog. I have nightmares about this.

Anyway, we retreated and more less followed our previous course. The wind started to become very strong. The higher we climbed the stronger the wind. Soon we were using our hands to stay on the rock as well as to climb. The curve was now more pronounced and it was 3PM. We were drenched and hungry. We were unhappy.

We decided to return in defeat. On the way down we, yes...it's true, got lost even having had a panoramic view. The little rain gulleys that began just inside the cloud cover become deeper and wider as they travel down the sides. If you choose a path down you are eventually 'locked' into it by being hemmed in by huge, deep trenches with vertical walls on either side. It is a different mountain on the way down.

We had reached the grassy, lower parts of the volcano and had put out of our minds the trenches on either side. The panorama in front of had started to look more expansive, less cluttered. The reason was a land slide had sheared off the land on our course. We felt like ants on the edge of a table. The end of it was almost perfectly square. We staggered about uselessly...then we rested.

We had come so close to level ground we could have distinguished a person among the trees. To cross the gulley we had to climb back up nearly to the edges of the cloud cover. We did so. Now we were unhappier and extremely grouchy.

As we turned back down we saw something that one should not like seeing. The sun was reflected on the Pacific and one could tell with a glance how narrow the strip of land that separated the lake from the sea really was. It was easy to see why engineers had thought that location perfect for a canal between the seas. It was very beautiful. It meant that night could fall on our way down. If it had been dark we might have tried to walk on that ground of our first course down that had slid away. So we started to run.

It was completely dark by the time we were among the trees. We had one penlight. We took turns carrying it because we were tired. The one that did not carry the light was led like a blind man. It's amazing how dark it gets at night.

The story of the trip back to town is a long one. It includes how I mistook stars for light bulbs so I'll skip it. We went through places that, if we could have seen our way, would not have crossed. We were almost dead with exhaustion.

When we finally got to a town we did not know which town it was. It was 11PM and the whole town was asleep except for some men drinking at a bar. I thought that simply asking them what town I was in at that time of night would not be wise. So I bought a beer.

Some time later, we were shocked to discover we were where we had started out from. So we set out to our hotel...the location and appearance of which we had forgotten. All of the hotels were family run affairs that closed at night. It was a very different town at night.

We solved the problem though. We picked the best candidate from all the places that had signs that had the word hotel or posada on them and started screaming the name of a friend who had stayed behind. We were lucky, it worked on the first try.

That was our trip up Concepcion. After this we went to Costa Rica to climb Chirripo. It is 12,000 feet or so tall. They said it would be cold up there. I found out that hallucinations often accompany hypothermia. I also found that I am susceptible to altitude sickness. I also swallowed a lot of bugs in the cloud forest.

Much later I reviewed the map of Concepcion and I discovered one detail that had escaped us. On the western side of the caldera there is a cliff that, according to my map, stands above the caldera. We had climbed higher than the caldera itself! Had we persevered we would have been rewarded with a great non-view of fog from a great place from which to jump into the volcano.


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